My body: Hey, so I know it’s been a pretty rough week…

Me: Yeah.

Body: Yeah. Sorry about that whole kidney infection thing, just, ya know sometimes things get out of whack, not much we can do about it. Right?

Me: *stares*

Body: And thanks for laying off the caffiene and all that to help the kidneys clear out the infection. That was super cool of you.

Me:

Body: So… sorry about the back pains from the kidney. Oh, yeah, and the caffiene withdrawal headaches. I know, my bad.

Me: *blinks*

Body: But guess what?!

Me: no

Body: I’ve got a surprise! Just the thing!

Me: please don’t

Body: Here! You get to start your period a whole two days early. Pretty cool, right?

Me: …..my back still hur-

Body: HORMONE SHIFT, TIME TO START CLEANING THE HOUSE!

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